In marriage, the reality will always exceed our expectations of what a person should be to oneself if we keep our eyes on the cross of Jesus. Expectations always limit. Before there is any expectation the possibilities are endless. But as soon as we define a certain desire in our heart concerning another person, we have placed a limit.
The shortcomings and sin of another person is frustrating, saddening, even angering. But God has so willed that those who are in Christ Jesus have put on redemption. That is, sin is paid for and it was paid for by death. So those who put on Christ, now experience all suffering and sin as part of the cross of Christ, where all sin and death was experienced, consumed, and overcome by his resurrection.
So then, when God places another person in my life, he does so for my good. I accept that person as a divine appointment to my very soul, a true soul-mate. When I have any sort of relationship with another person, then I recognize that God is sharpening me and working toward my holiness through that person. But when God puts a person in my life for marriage, then he is saying that this particular person is meant to be part of me, along with that person’s sins and pains. If I do not have Christ, then my perspective is to bear along with the sin, and hope to survive, perhaps “become stronger” through it. But in Christ, when his name has been placed on us, I know that whatever sin and trial this relationship brings, it was already born on the cross. So now when I experience anything, be it joyful, sad, frustrating, exhilarating, or angering, they are ways in which I come to know Christ himself